Technology and Brutal Honesty

As a teen, there are many things that are shown to us on a daily basis that those of past generations would not even believe. We are exposed to our families being torn apart (so much so that it's almost strange when a family is intact), our every word being shared with the world instantaneously through social media - and the ability of anyone and everyone to comment back on those shared thoughts, and of course the media itself.

Us teens have become so connected with the world that we've become blind to the wrongs that occur every single day and we've blocked out our family morals and values so as to adhere to a social norm. It's become okay and socially acceptable to talk about how ugly you feel. A common greeting in my high school was, "Hi, slut!" It wasn't meant to be condescending, and I think it may actually be helping the epidemic of teen suicides and the generally low quota of self esteem.

Hear me out. I used to have many a problem with self esteem. Yes, it's true. To be totally honest, I still struggle sometimes. However, I believe that I've been helped by the social phenomenon of brutal honesty. Prior to this movement, if I felt ugly I would take a razor blade to my wrist and tell my story in blood. After this movement, I snapchat a terrible picture of myself to my best friends and say, "I'm so ugly".

You may be thinking, well, how does this help? Plain and simple. The response I receieve back is either a good friend saying "No you're not" with an accompanying picture of sympathy, or an equally grotesque face saying, "Me too!". Technology and the every growing social phenomenon of total honesty have created a way for teens to feel like they are not alone. It's become okay to dress like a bum because you don't feel like getting ready. It's become okay to have a bad day. It's okay to cry in public. It's okay to celebrate good things.

I Don't Know What I Want

Seriously. I can't. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Do I want money? Do I want recognition? Do I want a family? Do I want a puppy or a kitten or a fish or a crocodile? Do I want to live in the city or the country?

Can someone please tell me what I want?

Check out my new blog!!

http://gl0rydays.wordpress.com/

Lent

I wonder if you can add things instead of give things up for lent. Can you say "I'm going to drink 8 glasses of water each day"? I don't know.

Senior Trip! + Questions

S0. I've been thinking. My senior trip is tomorrow. How did what I've been looking forward to for the longest time totally sneak up on me?? Its TOMORROW for Christ's sake. Also, I've been thinking about starting a blog diary about my life in college. Maybe starting this summer and going for four years. Its easier to type, and maybe I'll print out the entire blog one day so I can save a hard copy in case the entire internet fails (which would suck). I wish there was a way to print out the entire contents of your tumblr/pinterest so you'd have a hard copy of all your inspirational materials right with you. Someone should make that happen. Kind of like a memoir.

Drugs #2

So I've smoked weed for the second time today. It was only two hits off a bowl, but I do feel a bit more relaxed. I weeded most of the garden today. I have a really sore throat. :( I know its weird, but I always feel like Lisbeth Salander when I use a phone with a slidey keyboard to type, especially on a blog, because she used hers to type her entire autobiography. J and I are out getting pesticides for the lawn. He called mom and told her he did it before he actually did it, that way he could guage her reaction and decide if it was worth it. Smart. He's pretty intuitive of human psychology, actually. Although I would never tell him that, because he'd lord it over my head forever and always. Haha.

Seventeen will be such a glorious age,

So much is known, yet there is so much

left to be learned.

The girl in the yellow dress thought

She knew all about life, hers and others

One awful moment

and she saw the rest of her life was played out in detail

She knew how it would go, she knew how it

would end.

Seventeen is such a glorious age to be

So much is perfect, yet there is so much

beauty in imperfection.

The girl in the yellow dress thought

she was the best she would ever be,

the most beautiful,

the most intelligent, the most mysterious.

She decided to stay seventeen forever,

immortalized.

Seventeen was a glorious age,

so much was decided, yet there were so many

decisions to be made.

The girl in the yellow dress didn’t think anymore,

and pushed down harder on the cold blade

on her veins.

Remembered by the world as a queen,

a girl almost as perfect as the straight lines

on her wrists.